tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32242805233795573962024-03-05T02:15:40.114-05:00Journey In FaithThis is a space for us to share our story with you as we walk through life living for God. Feel free to share your story as well. We will continue to encourage and be encouraged to live for Him who has given His life for us all.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-81952010923697567372018-02-02T09:02:00.000-05:002018-02-02T09:02:12.436-05:00Just being real....(March 2017)<br />
It seems as if lately our family is just going with the flow and taking things in stride. Life overall going well, nothing major going on. In these moments we find peace, or do we. We all have our own definition of peace maybe, and for me calm and peace are two different things. You can have a calm, and you have peace, and you can have both at the same time. I also think you have have peace in the middle of the storm, you don't need calm to have peace. It is crazy to think about all of the stuff our family has been through over the years, and it is at times like this that I am reminded of all of the stormy moments, but what sticks out most is the peace that we have. I am reminded that the disciples where a bit freaking out in the boat and couldn't believe that Jesus was sleeping!! This is the perfect example of what I am talking about here. If the disciples really recognized who was among them, they too could have been sleeping, but Jesus took this as a time to share with them who was (and is) in control of the storm. When we acknowledge that, we come into a peace that can calm our storm. Now, the storms in life can all be calmed, and it doesn't mean that they are taken away, because the peace that He gives is a peace of the heart. When going through stuff with Kasi I would sing a Rich Mullins song all of the time. "Hold Me Jesus" was on of the best for me during that time. There are so many lines in there that I could relate to.<br />
....Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all, when the mountains look so big, and my faith just seems so small<br />
....And I wake up in the night and feel the dark It's so hot inside my soul I swear there must be blisters on my heart<br />
....You have been my King of Glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace.<br />
....I've beat my head against so many walls, and now I am falling down, I'm falling on my knees<br />
....Your Grace rings out so deep, it makes my resistance seem so thin<br />
You see I am a person of music, of Truth shared in music and my soul sings and weeps and....finds peace. I find that in moments of my greatest need, Jesus speaks directly into my guts of who I am through music and His Word. I am not a person who hides my feelings or thoughts, I share them openly. I am also not one to pretend to be okay, when inside I am wondering and questioning and wrestling. And guess what?!?!? I do this often. I think on all sides of this life, of wow God you have blessed me, an undeserving me, with so much goodness. Of course I also ask questions, and seek out answers in the middle of the storms too. I try and "wake Jesus up" from sleeping on the boat!! I beg and plead for things I see as "the best" for us all. I am glad to say I have been wrong on many occasions because seeing the other side has been joy. There are things I am still waiting for answers in, but I know because of how He has taken care of us before that He will have the best answers for us in the future. Are these answers always yes and Amen, no. Sometimes they are hard and a road filled with a lot of pain. I do find though that the pain comes from how hard it is to lay down myself, to surrender, to let go and let God. In fact, for me, my biggest places of growth have been my biggest places of surrender. <br />
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What you just read was written and never posted. I wrote it in March of 2017. I do that sometimes, just getting stuff out and not ever posting. I read this again, and now, almost a year later, God has stepped in and answered so many of my wonderings. I am still, just being real....I do this now with more of a boldness, and a passion for others to know who He is in the middle of their storms of life. Whatever they may be. It is also CHD awareness month, a time where I look back and see what God has done, how He has grown me and how he stepped in and gave me peace in the middle of the storm. My only storm of life is not CHD, it is a storm in myself too. It is not just a fight against this thing that stole what we would call "perfect" but a realization of the only perfection is in God's plan, according to His will. My storm(s) come from my imperfections, my strong will, my history in growing up, and other things that I didn't want to surrender until I was made to. This month is a reminder of that person who I was, how God stepped in, showed me the love of Himself through the giving of His son, so I can have peace in the storm. <br />
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Sooooo.....when the diagnosis came for us, and when we heard about Kasi's narrowing in her aortic arch, the hole in her heart, and the enlarged heart, I did not have peace. I was not in a place in my own heart to lay myself and Kasi down and say, not my will but your will be done. I was in a place of why, this is not fair, and where are you?? And then I went to a place of this is my fault, I do deserve this, but she does not. Not many people know about the inner struggle I had myself. I thought I was getting paid back for all of my "stuff". The pain is so real, the verses to the song above, yea, "it's so hot inside my soul I swear there must be blisters on my heart", this is real. The wrestle was real. These are things I reflect on. I look as see what amazing things God has done in my heart as well as Kasi's. Both physically and in the most important way....spiritually. The beginning of the healing journey in faith, this is when His lessons really began. I was 23 years old, I knew all about God and I know He was there through all of my stuff of the past, but this moment, this time, He began to say, enough. <br />
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Kasi at 6 weeks old went into her first heart surgery to repair the narrowing in her arch and then they were going to keep an eye on her hole hoping they could put off that repair until she was 1. She was so fragile because of her tummy surgery a week earlier in which she coded. So weak, but so sick they had to go in and fix her heart. As we sat in the surgical waiting room we would get updates about her surgery. Our nurse came out and let us know that they saw clearly the narrowing and the hole and they did all the measurements for the pressures to see exactly where they needed to do the repair and they were opening. We were about to start our long wait for the next update because the work was beginning. At this time there was a group of people, also in the waiting room, that walked over to us. I remember where they were sitting clearly, although I do not remember faces or if they were men or women. Just a group. They came up to us and asked if they could pray for us because they could tell that we were upset and that there was something big going on. Of course we were all for that! They gathered around us, laid hands on us, and prayed. My mind tries to remember what happened next with them. I want to say they went and sat back down and we had conversations, but that did not happen. I want to see their faces so bad, I want to know where they went, I want to know who there where!! Why??? Well, this begins our story. You see it wasn't much later after they prayed that our nurse came back out with tears flowing down her face. She was a believer too, and she was sobbing. Of course you probably know this was not professional, and the fact that she was not holding it together made me think that my nightmare was coming to fruition. I immediately started to cry too. At that point, she through her breaths was trying to wave my tears off. We listened intently as she proceeded to tell us that when they opened Kasi up, they no longer could find the narrowing and her hole in her heart was gone. All they did in her first surgery was to tie off her PDA (look it up) and they were closing! The Dr.s were all baffled. Stuck in their own thoughts about what did they miss and what just happened, while we were all celebrating an amazing miracle. At first someone in our group said, they made a mistake??? Our pastor clearly stated, NO!! We just witness a miracle......and so our story begins. June 3, 1996.....<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-55402953779907074302016-12-22T12:47:00.001-05:002016-12-22T13:29:46.296-05:006 yearsIt sure has been a long time since I wrote a blog post. I know I say that maybe I should more often, and for those closest to me/us, know that I have been challenged to write a book. Although this challenge was given a while ago, it keep reoccurring recently and Kasi and I are pondering it. She actually has started writing. I am not there quite yet. Although, this blog post, and just posting anything again it getting me closer.<br />
I thought I would update you on yesterday's appointment, but also let you into my heart and mind a little more. That can be a scary place let me tell you, so I will just give you the good stuff! Hopefully not the scatter brained stuff that seems to take up most of my mind. <br />
Yesterday we drove up to UofM for the 6 year follow up from Kasi's last major surgery. It was the first time that Aubree had been up since the surgery which seems surreal for Kasi and I because it seems to be a second home for us. As boring as it can be, it is also filled with a little anxiety for me. We were told that Kasi would be seeing a new specialist for her belly issues. They are trying to figure out this pain which is so severe I can't even begin to tell you what it is like to watch her when she has one. This past time the after effects lasted for about 3 days. She still managed to live life and go to school during those days, but it was not a good time for her! Her aorta is still narrowed, we know this, her blood pressure still have a gradient, she still has a murmur they mention every time we go. We live in this place of expect the unexpected. I am not sure how Kasi, or Aubree, feel about it, but for me, there is always this knowledge of the unknown. How is that for a thought. Knowledge of the unknown. That is what our story is. Kasi's life journey started 20 years ago, and my life changed then as well. We have, and I have, journeyed with God through many many ups/downs and searching. Wrestling with the why, why nots, who, and whens of her care and her life. There are many things I have learned along the way, and too many to put into one blog post. The one thing though that I did learn, one thing I know, is Jesus. His love, His life, His power, His everything. I look at what was even 6 years ago, and a bit longer when looking at the where of her surgery. The severity of it. I remember being denied at top hospitals only to come back to UofM, Dr. Stanley, and now Dr. Eliason. (and yes Dr. Eliason was there at the beginning too) I look at how God has orchestrated everything when it comes to Kasi's care, all the journal entries into the top Thoracic Medical Journals, to now even text books. I wonder....how will they write the unexplained? How will they write about the unanswerable? You see, through these years, we have seen many of those. We have seen healings, pain free surgeries, unexplained ability to breath, filling of lungs, taking away of fears, drying up of tears, healing of hearts....both physically and emotionally, but most importantly, spiritually. God has woken some from slumber, He has softened some, and He has called some to new life in Him. The Holy Spirit has moved among us, and still is moving. We are a life changed, a family changed by the touch of Him who has created all things. And it is with Him we rest in what is to be. We don't know what Kasi's future holds, these next appointments, or when the next belly pain will come. We don't know what God has in store for any of us. BUT....we rest in what we DO know. We know, Jesus came from his heavenly home, to be born in a place where animals lived and ate, a smelly lowly place. He lived a simple life, relating to the simple, being all wise, and all knowing. He gave us an example of how to live, surrendered, humble, and loving. He taught us that true love, loves the Truth, and lives into it, and then shares it with others so they too can have the joy in knowing and loving Him. We know that without Christmas we wouldn't have Easter. We know that in whatever our tomorrow holds, we know who holds tomorrow. So, where ever you find yourself today in your walk with Jesus, think on these things at Christmas.<br />
This is Jesus.....<br />
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Merry Christmas!!! <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-56217772274202981662015-11-04T12:12:00.000-05:002015-11-04T12:12:05.540-05:00The morning of the one tear....I know yesterday I mentioned Kasi strength through all of this. This is the morning that I saw her one tear. Not knowing at that time that tear was actually for me. Her focus on what my life would be without her and thinking, and praying that God would take care of me. Kasi's life was about to be forever changed, and yet, her focus was not inward, but outward. Asking God to help those who love her no matter the outcome. That is why the one single tear.....<br />
I will never forget that tear. It is one of the most vivid memories I have of this journey. To me I thought she was saying "good-bye" or saying "I don't want to do this". I of course tried to use humor I am sure to calm her, when truly she was the calm one. This tear didn't happen right away in our prep room, this tear came only at the end when saying our "ta ta for nows". Don't let me kid you, we were saying goodbye, maybe for a moment, maybe till we are all called home. We honestly didn't know. My heart was being so strong....until the tear. <br />
The walk out of the room, and yes, we had a whole room because of the complexity and seriousness of her surgery, for all of our family and friends to come into. My focus was solely on Kasi, but I wonder. How was it for Aubree? How was it for Ron? Grandparents? Her friend and mine? They too.....saw the tear.<br />
I remember them taking her back right on time. They were all fresh I am sure since it was 6:30am. She was preped the night before, so we didn't have anything else that morning except prayer. Prayer, the biggest and most important thing for this journey. At the time I knew it would help us through, but I had no clue how much. And the fact that there were so many praying for us, God gave me a vision of the throne room being LOUD with the name of Kasi. Jesus bringing her name to the Father with all of these voices behind it. My little plead and whimper almost a distraction to those who were being loud on her behalf. It is like it started with a quiet whisper, a few gathered, then it started. The flood gates were opened. I clearly remember a friend sending me a message that Christian radio station had just stopped and prayed for Kasi on the air, and she was in Revive and every shopper and worker there stopped and prayed with them. What a beautiful picture in my mind. Then my dad recieved a text message from a pastor friend saying Moody Bible Institute during their live broadcast just prayed for Kasi. I recieved messages saying that at the beginning of each class at Unity every teacher every hour, with all the students prayed for Kasi. People had T-shirt wearing day for that day. I got a picture of the student body at Unity all dressed in green and purple. It was LOUD before the throne. And my heart could feel it.<br />
I keep going back through the blog, to remember, to share, to give to others.....the pain of that day was still there in the middle of peace. This song I posted that day.....<br />
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One tear.....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-46607343494212243912015-11-03T23:00:00.000-05:002015-11-03T23:00:00.852-05:005 years later....It amazes me that 5 years have gone by. I sometimes think of everything as a distant memory and sometimes it seems like yesterday. There are many times through the past five years that the reality is still very real about Kasi's current and forever condition. Until Jesus heals her or takes her home! As I go through this month I am hoping to be able to share more insight to the days I wrote about. To remember and then reflect on who God is and was in the middle of that time and now. It is because of what He has done that we can look forward toward what He will do. <br />
I look back at the pictures that were taken the night before surgery. I remember her sister and her friend lying in the hospital bed together watching a movie. We shared some laughs and cried some tears. What I also remember was the fact that Pastor Dave stayed until everyone was gone, and just sat and prayed with us. At the same time in the hotel other family members have their own story of what they were doing, thinking, and praying that night. Aubree was in a room with Brittany and Kristie and I know that they prayed, talked, and cried. Thinking back on her, 7th grade year and this huge event in her life I know it changed her as well. Then there are the boys, Ron was so good as to take care of all of their needs during this time, and also being a dad to a very sick young lady. <br />
One of the biggest memories I have about not only this night, but the few nights prior, and maybe even weeks, were the conversations I had with Aubree. The hard, hard conversations. You see, Kasi was at total peace. What rocks my world about this still is that Kasi, being so intimately close to Jesus, was not scared. She told me, maybe a year or two later, that she was at peace because she knew that when she woke up, she would either be with me, or with Jesus, and either one was okay. She had nothing to fear. Aubree and I, well, we were having conversations in the car as I would take her back and forth to soccer, about what life looks like. What if Kasi was called home? What if Kasi survives? What is she comes out very changed, like can't walk or talk? We went through all of these senarios in a very real way. Our conclusion always being, we can not be selfish in our thoughts of what we desire, but we need to put all of these thoughts, feelings, and desires before the feet of our King in His throne room. We need to pray that we accept and are faithful to God and His call through the process, and that our own desires don't get in the way of God's work through us and the best for Kasi. After all, our home is not in this world. This is only our very temporary home, our residence is in heaven! <br />
Going through this stuff of life here on this earth you have choices. You can look at it and go, wow, we made it! You can look at it as wow, God gave me strenth then I know He will if we have to do that again, but let's hope we don't. OR.....you can look at this as a stepping stone to surrender. We have found ourselves in constant surrender to stuff of this life. God has called us to difficult situations and circumstances in the last 5 years. He has also called us to come and walk with others in their difficult situations too. He doesn't give us these situations to just look back, but also look forward. He gives us eyes to see Him working in the lives of others. He gives us the knowledge and wisdom to recieve suffering as a gift of refinement. As I remember....remember with me, your story....<br />
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<span class="text 1Pet-1-3" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">1 Peter</span></div>
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<span class="text 1Pet-1-3" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">3 </span><span style="line-height: 24px;">Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!</span><span style="font-size: 10px; line-height: 22px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 24px;">In his great mercy</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> he has given us new birth</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> into a living hope</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,</span></span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text 1Pet-1-4" id="en-NIV-30379" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">4 </span>and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you,</span><span class="text 1Pet-1-5" id="en-NIV-30380" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">5 </span>who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text 1Pet-1-6" id="en-NIV-30381" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">6 </span><i><b>In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.</b></i></span><i><b><span style="line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text 1Pet-1-7" id="en-NIV-30382" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">7 </span>These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.</span></b></i><span class="text 1Pet-1-8" id="en-NIV-30383" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">8 </span>Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="text 1Pet-1-9" id="en-NIV-30384" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">9 </span>for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-20764351087123044682015-04-30T20:49:00.000-04:002015-04-30T21:18:25.739-04:00The story goes on.....Sometimes I think about this blog and the fact that I haven't posted for a long time. I also remember the times that I was posting in it daily. It was kind of a release, a way to process, and share my thoughts and feelings. The story is always going on though, it is always progressing, and changing, growing. <br />
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Today Kasi moved back home after her first year of college. I can hardly believe the first years of life, extending into school, and then college. There were so many times throughout her life that we didn't know she would make it this far. And now, she is done with her first year, looking forward to 3 more and then living her dream of helping kiddos in the hospital. <br />
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It is amazing to see how real life issues shape us and make us who we are. We have walked a hard road, full of heart break and things that seems so unfair. Through it all we know our God is faithful, He is consistent, He is all knowing, all loving......the list can go on and on. We have so much to our story that I look back on see God's hand in it all. From cash in our mailbox, just the right amount of course, to miraculous healing, amazing provision through a fundraiser for our family, and the biggest of all.....God's grace to us all. Watching these kiddos grow in Him, seeing them love God, because He first loved us. <br />
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Watching Kasi over the last year was a blessing to me. She has helped friends walk down rough roads, she has encouraged some in their faith, she has started a bible study too. All of this selflessly, all the while dealing with her own "stuff". Yes, Kasi has her own stuff, it is some of the same stuff she has had before. Her aorta, once again, not perfect, re narrowed, and keeping her from normal life. What is normal for her though. Is it running? Is it doing sports? Is her life filled with the busyness of doing rather than being? One thing Kasi is really good at, being. She is....she doesn't have to be anything to anyone because she is secure in who God created her to be. Without the stuff of this life, who would she be? Would she be able to come along side others like she does? Would she be such a blessing to those who know her? God's hand is above all and in all, and for that we praise Him.<br />
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Then watching our family. Watching Aubree grow, the boys too, but Aubree because she is growing into a young woman that is seeking God's heart in all she does. Watching her over the last year and seeing her heart and God working and doing some awesome things in her life. Seeing prayers answered, watching her lean on Him, stand up for Him, and live for Him. I wonder, what would she be like if not surrounded by the hard stuff of life. Watching her sister, suffer, almost leave this world, and also be healed, recover, and depend totally on God. While Kasi's mission field is in Dr.'s offices and hospitals, Aubree's is the soccer field. It's in the gym, it's helping people be better through the stuff that Kasi can't do. Aubree has lived this out in many ways through the years through giving verses, bibles, and being a testimony to those around her. God has used it by also calling her to CMU, to play soccer, and the one of the biggest blessing is that her coaches see something different in her. That something is Jesus.....<br />
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Today, I sat with a dear friend during a lunch. I feel honored that she sat, and felt like she could tell me things of her heart. I cried, she cried, and I just listened. (ok, I wasn't completely quiet) I walked away thinking, what an honor to be there, to just be. Again, I wonder, what would my heart be like if it weren't for my struggles, our challenges, my brokenness. God has used the broken to come alongside so many people. God's glory has been seen and continues to be seen through people that walk through the valley. <br />
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The story goes on.....Does our story ever end? I wonder do we ever stop talking about God's love, goodness, faithfulness? Do we stop talking about the miracles, the challenges, the brokenness, and healing? The answer is of course, NO!! This year, starting Jan., has been extremely hard for me and for our family. I have cried so hard, begged God to change hearts, for people to change, to grow in Him, to understand and not judge, and God choose to move me, to move us. Looking back I see that once again, letting go was the best thing we could do. That this too is a growing point for our whole family. Sometimes, physical pain is hard, but emotional pain is harder. We have been blessed by true friends, true prayer warriors, and mostly by the Truth. God's word has ministered to our hearts, and we have dug deep to learn full dependence on Him, and not on others. So, our story, continues. We will continue to show grace, as much grace as was given us by Jesus himself. It is not dependent on what others do for us, but on what God already has done through Jesus himself. Our story, makes us who we are. Our story is God's story through us. The great I AM was yesterday, is today, and will be forever. In Him is where our story begins and continues. <br />
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Keep looking up!! <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-36422266827493540542013-04-10T11:45:00.000-04:002013-04-10T11:45:40.587-04:00Celebrating and starting a new journeyIt is hard to believe that prom is this week Friday. Along with prom, it is also Kasi's 17th birthday. I can hardly believe that she has made it this far in her life. I never thought at the begining of her life she would be going to prom, nor did I ever even think about it. It was such a day by day, moment by moment life. Now as I look back I see all of the goodness to us and the provision and can celebrate with her as I send her off in her beautiful dress on her 17th birthday. <br />
April 12, 1996 at 7:58pm a little bundle of strong willed joy entered our life. Her will so strong it helped her survive. In her 17 years she has had 1 tummy surgery, 1 back surgery, 3 heart surgeries, 2 heart caths, 3 angiograms, a large hemotoma that could have taken her life it was so large, 1 MRI (which she can't have anymore because of the rods in her back) at least 5 to 7 CAT scans, countless X-rays and many many months spent in the hospital. Each surgery different and having it's own risks. Each moment saying good-bye from my arms as a little baby to being wheeled away on a bed far to big for her, and at the last as a young woman knowing with such an assurance that whether in life or death God's will would be done and having peace that was beyond our understanding. Only with a tear flowing down her cheek as she watched us all try hold it together with each giving a kiss on her forehead as she went to the OR. That was a life time ago and at the same time only a little more than 2 years.<br />
From PICU to the floor we have met many people along the way too that have impacted our life and hopefully we have made a little mark on theirs. I can't believe all of what we have been through and it seems so overwhelming and yet, the goodness in the middle of it all. If I could only put into words the feeling I get over each and every birthday of this young daughter of the King. And that is just what she is, a daughter of the King!! As much as I want to take credit for being her mom and helping her through life I can only say that it is only because of God's spirit in me, His love extended through my arms, and His grace that is wider, deeper, and bigger than we can wrap our brains around. At the point of her birth I was only familiar with a God that was "in control" but in the first months of Kasi's life He started to impact my heart in ways that would change me forever. Am I a crazy for the King, absolutely!! I have seen my King at work around us and through us. Would I change anything of the past 17years? Not if it means changing anything about who we are as a family. Does it mean we are perfect? No, it just means we are real, growing, and moving for the Kingdom and sometimes that means that what we face from day to day is a little harder, more challenging, or bringing us to a new place where we can see God is His awesomeness, moving, working, and being glorified. Even if it is new chapter or even a new book, which is what it seems to be with our family.<br />
On April 16 Kasi will go in and see her cardiologist. We are expecting a good report although there are some questions, but when are there not questions? It's Kasi!!<br />
Then on April 25 a first chapter in a new book starts. Although that is not all totally true because Ben has been brought to us in a way that only have been orchestrated by God Himself, but that my friends is a different book altogether! This new adventure we are facing with our Most High is about the brain and all it complexity. Only our creator knows our brain in ways that can be totally healed so that is what we always pray for, and as we are moving we pursue openings and discover ways to help our little man out to the best of our ability. With this comes an appointment at UofM on the 25th of April. He does have epilepsy and with the choices his birth mom made while he was in the womb he is a complicated case. We love this little guy and he is ours. We never look back as say because her bla bla bla, we just don't go there. She had/has her issues and this is not about her. God has placed him here as well as his brother because they were meant to be here. They are our own children and nothing can change that. And with that we move forward as we did and do with Kasi into this new part of learning and growing knowledge I never wanted or needed to know. We move forward because we know we can with the strength of Him who gives all strength. Ben is a child of God who asked Jesus into his heart while making cookies with me one day right by the counter in our kitchen. He loves Jesus and I know that Jesus will hold his hand as He did Kasi's. And I must say, Kasi is a blessing to him as well. <br />
We are growing, and learning once again. So welcome to the next journey in faith with the DeRoo's. We still are on one with Kasi, just adding to it and not stopping God's story through us. <br />
This is a fallen world that we live in, but...BUT we are citizens of the King's Kingdom!! Resting in the assurance of our eternal home and spreading seeds where ever He calls us. <br />
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.......we see only one step at a time by God's design<br />
Looking Up!<br />
Jodi<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-81160910869338186102012-12-20T11:51:00.000-05:002012-12-20T11:51:38.875-05:00December 21 two years laterTomorrow we will be going in for a routine check-up for our Kasi girl. It is hard to believe it has been two years since her surgery, and at the same time it seems like it has been forever. So many things we remember like yesterday and at the same time things that we have forgotten. For all the things remembered it is all the good things, the smiles shared, relationships built, and the best of all, the praise we saw God get for every good thing. It was the lives that have been changed, and the people who now know Jesus and the strength He gives. These are the things remembered each day, until, the day before an appointment. <br />
The day before we head over to UofM so many emotions go through my head. I am not anxious or scared, but revisiting all of the "stuff" of testing and waiting and going over results. The doctor conversations, the keeping my head into every word so I know the right questions to ask so when we leave I am fully aware of Kasi's health for another year. It seems like we should be at the point where these things shouldn't be of concern and just a normal checkup. For those of you who have been on this journey with us for a long period of time know that nothing is really of the norm with Kasi's body. And of course this past year is no exception. She has had costacondritis which she needed a CT scan for and she has had pain in her leg, swelling in her feet, and of course he feet getting a little funny with color at times, among other things which make us go hmmm. No we don't call on these things because we simply are done with all the doctor visits and really try and enjoy life together without thinking about such things. I am sure though, that this is different for Kasi who actually has these things going on.<br />
Kasi for the most part doesn't tell me about issues anymore, and really why would she? She is completely desiring to lead a normal teenage life. What does that look like for her? I see her and see how mature she is in her thinking and in her relationships. Part of me wants her to be free, run, jump, and be crazy!! She is free and she can sure be crazy, but at times I feel like she is held into this adult mode of thinking because she has come face to face with the reality of whether or not she might see tomorrow. I remember how strong she was looking forward to and anticipating this past surgery. It was amazing the strength she had. I remember having the hard talk with Aubree about what this could look like, and how, no matter what the outcome, we knew God's love for Kasi was so much greater than our own that His will would be perfect. Kasi now says to me that her strength was in the form of peace. She was at peace the days and months before her surgery. God given peace, and peace I desire to live in daily. I remember God's hand on her, physically and spiritually. I also recall her face as she was wheeled away from us that morning. A single tear from each eye rolling down her cheeks, her at peace, but seeing my pain as I longed to go with her, hold her, and tell her it's okay. <br />
So tomorrow we go down these same halls, to the same Dr.s, and the same people who saw us for who we really are, vulnerably on our knees before our Father, trusting. We are trusting, in Him to hold us like we have been held, go before us and prepare those who need to hear of Him, and to share our celebration of Kasi being held and healed by the Almighty. <br />
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Philippians 4:4-7<br />
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.<br />
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Isaiah 9:6<br />
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of PEACE. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-28339417215203481842012-11-20T09:27:00.000-05:002012-11-20T09:27:36.638-05:00ThankfulnessThanksgiving is right around the corner and this year I keep thinking about two years ago and all of the roads we have been down since. It is as if our journey in life was with Kasi alone, but that is not the case. This journey of life is always moving and is fluid just as God is. God is always moving, flooding, pulling back, making trenches, changing scenery, in the very depths of our souls. This doesn't happen with one major moment in life, as a major surgery, cancer, illness, or accident, these are just tools along the way to shape and mold us to see Him more clearly, and even more importantly make us more like Him. When we have no other choice but to reach up because there is nothing more under us holding us, God's amazing arms swoop down and pick us up and carry us.<br />
This thanksgiving I am thankful for knowing Jesus in such a way that He carries me. Not just through life with Kasi, which is major, but through life with the boys as they are special needs and born with more obstacles then most people face ever in their life. Also, with Aubree as she shares her faith on and off the soccer field filled with life experience, not being swayed by those who choose to talk about her and shoot her down in school and life. All these things as a mom make my "plate" full, and sometimes I refer to it as a meat platter, but, BUT, I know that through all of life as we know it, God's love is bigger, greater, and continual. He is fluid, filling all the creases of life that need filling, changing, and cleansing. I rest in this, today, and always. <br />
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Have a very blessed Thanksgiving, being thankful for Him, the true One in control of all.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-47804909213220098142012-04-12T10:02:00.000-04:002012-04-12T10:02:32.157-04:00Happy 16thWow Kasi I never knew you would make it to this day! Actually every year on this day is a time that I have my moments of being filled with tears of awe. Most mom's reflect I am sure on each of their children's birthday's, but yours is different. And maybe just different from my perspective. I look at the past 16 years of not only your life, but everyone who's life has been impacted by you, which includes mine. Having a baby can be an event that is overlooked as a "normal" part of life by most people, but you my sweet girl, have been anything but normal. (which you know because we tell you all the time...hehehe) I still chuckle at the fact that I was overwhelmed with tears the day we were going to take you home because you were a little jaundice and they weren't sure if you would have to stay an extra day. At that I now say "HA"! I also remember the ride home in which a semi would pass us and I would freak out a little bit. Then there is taking you to our home and walking you around the rooms, saying "here is your crib, here is your rocking chair, here is our table" and crying so much over that. Can you say post-pardem blues??? Wow, it was crazy! Then there was taking you back into the hospital to have your billirueben (sp?) checked and Grandma having to come along because I couldn't even bare to think of you getting poked in your foot! You would scream and I would sob. At one point you were in the back with Grandma and I heard you crying and I started crying in the waiting room, a older man came over to me, put his arm around me and said "I understand, my daughter just had a baby too, it's okay". I think on these little moments, and then look at what was to come about over the next weeks and how God stepped and intervened in my heart to give me strength. Who knew at the time I was weeping over a foot poke that in 5 weeks we would be sobbing over the side of your crib as the nurses breathed breath back into your body. Who knew that after what was supposed to be a "simple" tummy surgery that we would get the most devastating news we could ever hear. Who knew that not only would we hear about your heart being broke, that ours would have to break over and over and yet over again. Who knew that each time we gave you over to surgery after surgery we would be giving you straight into the hands of our Father to do His work inside your little and not so little body. Who knew that as your heart, being absolutely the very first case of it's kind, would be the very thing that changes my heart and makes our hearts so in love with the Father who not only holds our physically broken hearts and heals them but also our Spiritually broken heart and heals and holds it. Who knew that 16 years later we would be able to give so many testimonies of healing, holding, and uplifting, and mostly, lives changed all for His Glory! God knew. <br />
I sit here and reflect on the 16 years of your life, I am thankful for each day. I know that life in your future isn't going to be "easy", but then I think, if it were easy for the past 16 years where would we be? How much love would we actually have for the One who holds us? Would we recognize all His goodness for what it is? Would we be like the "norm"? I don't want to be like the "norm" and I don't want that for you my sweet baby girl! I don't want the "norm" to be part of our vocabulary ever, not for you, Aubree, Ben, or Nathan. I desire to stay radical for the One who is the healer! The awesome in power! The mighty One! <br />
May we always be on edge of what God is going to do next and may we always ride the wave of His Spirit in our lives. I pray that the song in your heart remains strong. I pray that others may share with you, how God has worked among them and in them because of God's work in you. Think about Dr. Eilison coming into your room and letting you know that he never realized the depth of the song "I will Praise You in the Storm" until he heard it one morning on the way to U of M and God revealed to him it looks like you! That is a God moment because of your life. I praise God for the unusual, the not norm, for those moments. How many times when going to an appointment you would come out of the Xray and say, so mom, how many new friends do you have? Thank you Lord for calling us out of ourselves, and into seeing you around us. Each face is one that is created in the image of God and may you always be faithful in reflecting God back to each face you meet. May your heart always remain sensitive and loving! And Kasi, I have to tell you, you have an amazing story that God has given you! You were given a word from God by many, and were even told you have a gift to compose, I believe God is sorting that out in you right now. Pray over it, through it, and into it. He will reveal the how and when. May you also know that a vision was told to me that a friend had while you were in U of M and it is a vision that will never leave me. That is a vision of you standing before our Father in His Glory casting your crowns filled with jewels at His feet. <br />
Keep living your out of the box, not "normal", sold out, bold life!!! God has and will continue to do GREAT and AMAZING things!<br />
I love you! But God loves you more!!<br />
Mom<br />
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I can't wait to hear you sing your new "life song" soon. I am attaching it :-)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/eOOFAaUGfRE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-84783053129927603102011-11-06T21:11:00.000-05:002011-11-06T21:11:47.936-05:00A reflective few daysI have been waiting to post on here about how it is to be 1 year post op. I wasn't sure how I was going to start this post because there are so many things that go through my mind and heart. Some things bring laughter and others many tears. I realized that there are so many things I never really realized a year ago that I look back on now and stand in amazement at. So so many God things that have become apparent and have changed who we are as individuals and as a family. Life looks different through the eyes of someone who has been to the depths and what someone does there can change your life. What I mean by that and what I realize is that we are very different in our approach to life and faith and life. You see in our family there is no separating the two. We don't do our thing everyday separate from God. Now we don't live perfectly in this, but we see things with a kingdom purpose. For everything under heaven happens for a purpose, and God has ordained it all. <br />
One year ago Kasi was struggling to survive. When talking to her today she remembers going to her dark happy place away from everything else that was going on. Her body was fighting but Kasi was at peace. Ex. 14:14 Be still and I will fight for you. Of course she was at peace because everything in us wants to fix, but God says just trust me that is all I ask. <br />
There are many emotions that go along with that feeling of letting go. I had to let go 15 years ago and it has been a process of letting go ever since. We do what we can, but I have come to know that our children all of them are only lent to us to guide in the knowledge of our Lord. Kasi has her own relationship with Him in which she gains her strength. So, as we move together through the challenges of this world we rest in the fact that God is with us in the middle of all places. He never leaves us! His Holy Spirit guides, comforts, protects, sustains, and brings forth all Truth to give all that we need. In the middle we have found to be praising God, and isn't that what God asks of us? I am pretty sure Paul talks about praising God in the middle of suffering! Not because of suffering but because that is what God is the closest to us. We have felt the hand of God we have seen His glory, and have felt His joy as he used us in the middle. Our attitudes were never of why, what or how, but of where, when, and who. We wanted to be where He wanted us to be, when He wanted us to be there, and minister to whomever He wanted us to. Once our minds and hearts acknowledged the fact that God calls us to all places in our lives we could live in the peace of God being in control and letting go. Praise be to Him!! <br />
Our story is not over, nor is anyone of ours. We have a purpose until either Jesus comes back or we are taken to Him. Faith and life do not disconnect, but are always together as long as Jesus lives in you and is Lord of your life. Only at that moment are we free from "stuff" of this world. Maybe not physically, but the emotional binding that "stuff" tries to have on us. Rest in Him, have peace in Him, and finally Live in Him. When this happens, you too will not be silent about the GREAT things God is doing in your life. <br />
My story continues, in two little boys in which are both being watched or tested for Autism, in a young lady who God is using soccer to take her to places in which she has and does share Jesus (so proud she lives out loud) and in Kasi, whose life will continue to be one of going to doctors appointments and check ups. I wonder, how many "new friends" will I meet in the waiting rooms. Kasi always gives me a hard time about that in a good way. If there is one place that people need to know the Love of Jesus it is in a waiting room of the major Dr.s Kasi goes to. I pray we shine His light brightly and we know that the right people will be there at the right time :-) <br />
May God bless all of you with the ability to know Jesus and to LIVE OUT LOUD!! <br />
I am sure there is more to come......Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-85715528565114011222011-11-03T08:53:00.000-04:002011-11-03T08:53:45.498-04:00Nov 3 2011I know, what a title! Well that is because the fact that I am sitting down and typing this out on Nov. 3, 2011 is an amazing thing to me right now. Tomorrow more will come, but today marks one year since we took Kasi in to the hospital to have her surgery. Nov. 4 2010 is the date that she had the surgery that changed our lives in so many ways. Yes, she is the one who had the surgery, but at the same time God uses such events in our lives to change many many lives. These things I will write about tomorrow as I am still processing everything of this past year. <br />
I am also in the process of re-reading what I posted last year on this date and then the dates after. It is God's story and wow did He tell it. I am humbled to be part of His big picture. <br />
I can't wait to see what He has for tomorrow! <br />
Blessings to you all....I will write really soon!<br />
Jodi<br />
PS...I am hoping to have Kasi write something as well!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-22358238911952898292011-05-21T09:24:00.000-04:002011-05-21T09:24:49.208-04:00yesterday's trip to UofMIt has been a long time since I sat down to update this. It feels like home sitting behind this keyboard with so many hours spent doing this and it is hard at times to put everything out there and knowing that our hearts and lives are being read by all. This is a good thing too, because this is not our story as many of you have heard me say now, but this is God's story. He is writing through us daily and we just have bigger pages at times than some. <br />
First I want to say that the past 6 months have been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it doesn't seem real that this has all happened in the past<em> 6 months</em>. I think it is because it has been a life journey for us with the last leg of it only 6 months behind us. At the same time, all of our time up at U of M doesn't seem like it really happened. Only at times :-) I have had opportunity to see all that has happened while up there and lives that have been touched, people that have been met, and prayers that were sent up on Kasi's behalf and I stand amazed over and over again. She was truly touched by the hand of God many times and I look back on some of the blog posts and the pleas that were put out there and I see God's work done. Sometimes instant and sometimes over time, but always God's hand, God's time, and God's will. God's will at times during the process I wish would have been different, but not that I look back I can see how incredible His plan was/is for us and especially in Kasi's life. I praise Him for that!<br />
On to our trip yesterday, since I could go on and on about the "stuff" of life that I have learned and reflected on. Who knows, it could be the next blog post, or it could even be at the end of this. Depends on how my hands hold up :-)<br />
Yesterday we had a follow up appointment with Dr. Eliason, who is one of her vascular surgeons. We went there knowing that she was having some "issues" with her belly once again and she has been getting sleepy. Now her sleepiness could be from being 15 and trying to grow and do it on less sleep than really needed. I am trying to encourage more, but she has other plans for her last hour of the night! It could be this boy interest she has right now, in fact, I know it is! It is a good thing they are good kids. (Jake you made the blog)<br />
Kasi went in for her normal routine tests and the results were great! Her blood flow to her lower body is looking really good. We are so excited about that!! She then started to explain these belly issues with him. He said it could be a couple of things. It could be that because she had such an assault happen to her belly that she has developed scar tissue, or it could be that they have kind of created irritable bowel syndrome. These both kind of make sense for the surgery, but don't really make sense because of when she gets the pain. The pain is extreme and only in the morning. Really early morning! It wakes her up at times around 4:00am and she has a med that she takes and it seems to go away. She doesn't get any kind of pain all day long. She is tired though, and it could be just from not sleeping well, going to bed later than she should, or it could be a sign of something else. We will wait on this belly pain for a month. If it doesn't get better then she will have to see a specialist up at UofM for this. She is also taking her blood sugar 1 and 2 hours after she eats to see if that has something to do with her sleepiness. This will happen for the next 6 months. <br />
The last thing we talked about with the doctor was the fact that he heard a significant heart murmur. She has a slight heart murmur before, but now it has increased. There could be reasons for this that make sense, but because she is Kasi we will go in this coming week and just have her listened to. Our amazing nurse talked to us on the phone on the way home and we agree that this might just be because of better blood flow making the murmur louder. We will go with that and enjoy our weekend!<br />
Of course the last of this post has to be about more U of M moments. This time when waiting and waiting to go into her appointment we were sitting by a "older" lady, my dad wouldn't appreciate that since she had to be about his age, and we started talking. (of course this is hard for you all to believe about me) Well, it came out that she had grand kids in GR and they were from Saginaw. We also then talking about health issues and I had to add the goodness of God. We got to share a little of Kasi's story and she too is a Christian woman and all I have to say is she left in tears (of joy) for the goodness done in Kasi's life, and she said she will be praying for Kasi and her life. How good is God to put us out in the waiting room for a LONG time, and turn it into a place where we could encourage them in their situation with the goodness of Him. That is what it is all about! Plus seeing our nurses cry when we walk down the hall because they are overwhelmed seeing us, yeah those are great moments! We have genuine love for all of them up there. They are part of our family!<br />
As for prayer needs for Kasi. We have some once again, but we know God is faithful to take care of our every need so we rest in the fact that all of you will join with us in your prayers for her again!<br />
Pray that Kasi's belly issues go away, her blood sugar remains normal, the heart murmur is nothing but a noise, and that she can be done going to the doctors all the time. Those are the requests for Kasi. You know I have put on here prayers for others before and once again I have someone for you to pray for. Dr. Stanley is the doctor that did Kasi's surgery. The one of only 4 who has any kind of knowledge of her case and the only one in America. Well, he had surgery this past week and he is still in the hospital. We will be sending up cards, but prayers are the most important thing we can give him. He has been prayed for before since his hands are the hands you all prayed for in the OR when Kasi had her surgery, now his whole body needs to recover. He is looking to retire and it would be great it he could do that is good health. Please join us in prayer for him. It is amazing that God put us at "just the right time" to have our surgery so he was able to do it, and now to show him where strength comes from. He was the doctor that was amazed at Kasi's strength and said she was the strongest patient he has had. We love Dr. Stanley, and we will hold him up!!!<br />
I hope you all have an amazing day today! It looks like the weather is going to be amazing and we are very excited to say we are going to a concert tonight as guests of Bowen's dad. It will be a ton of fun!<br />
God is amazing! He is still at work, in and through us! Looking forward to seeing what He is about to do!<br />
JodiAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-6255770834865062612011-03-08T13:15:00.000-05:002011-03-08T13:15:28.946-05:00ThoughtsIt amazes me how thoughts over time grow and how we can see God's hand in things. I look back at our time at U of M as such a blessing with new friends and new people to pray for and encourage. I think that until you have been down a road it is really hard to walk next to someone on the same road you once traveled. At the same time when visiting people it is a reality of what really goes on everyday in hospitals all over the world. The difference between some is the severity of the patients. U of M has much sicker kids in it than DeVos so the atmosphere is a little bit different. It also makes faith issues more real because people are not just relying on Dr.s but are trying to figure out if this God that we talk about is real and would care and love them enough. I pray that through all we go through as a family weather with Kasi, Aubree on a soccer field, Ben with all of his "stuff", and Nathan with his special needs, we honor God. I pray that others may see our joy in the middle of "life" because of Christ, not because of stuff of this world. We can try and cling to what we have in our homes and families, but all of this will one day be gone, and I am left with my Father, and that is enough.<br />
So, today as I call U of M about Kasi and as I call Dr. Lirio waiting on results from an EEG and praying against seizures, and even as we wait for Ben's appointment at Pine Rest, I rest in the fact that God loves them more and nothing can ever take that from any one of them. It seems rare to have 3 kiddos that are special because of health issues, but really I have four special kids. All of them made unique and need different things from me as a mom. Aubree may not need physical things from me, but she is extremely blessed with her ability to play soccer. She also is a gift to me and my heart. Her wit and her love for God amazes me and she is an encouragement to our whole family. God has gifted each one over here and for that I praise him. <br />
Here is our family update. Kasi has to have blood drawn today to check some of her levels. I would go into why, but it is too much to type :-) She also will be going to take a trip on Friday to U of M to see Dr. Eliason. I am not alarmed at all, I have to say that. She is looking really good and is feeling fine. She is just getting tired when she eats and her feet fall asleep on the bus or when sitting in a lazy-boy. This could be just normal Kasi, but they want to make sure. Seriously, I thought they would just write her a note to take a day off of school each week for a bit, or even for 1/2 day off through out the week, but that is not the case. <br />
Now Nathan, there is really no news yet on him. We are waiting to hear back about his EEG. He did do great when having it done although he did not sleep. He was calm, which is amazing! I will let you know more when I know more. We are praying that it is "nothing". After all I know all about the heart, aorta, pancreas, and kidneys, we shouldn't need to throw in the brain. I would really have to consider going to school for my nursing degree!<br />
That is all from the DeRoo home! We praise God for you faithfulness in prayer for our family. We are still going down our road of maintaining and we are so grateful that we are together as a family. There are so many out there that have lost a loved one. This goes back to my beginning. I don't take even the little things lightly. We celebrate all of life little and big things giving God all the Glory and praise. He is an amazing Father!<br />
Pressing on....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-30476673491818738042011-02-05T18:09:00.000-05:002011-02-05T18:09:56.742-05:00God's plan...It is simply awesome to sit here at home after my first speaking engagement and here the encouragement that people have felt through God's story through us. It is also an amazing thing to here how others feel like they too can tell their stories of Faith and God's work in there lives. I am truly blessed to be called by Him to do His work. <br />
A little update on the family. <br />
Kasi is doing amazing!! She has been through school for a full week plus part of this one. She stills get tired, but over all is loving life.<br />
Aubree is playing soccer and trying to get her mind back into the swing of soccer. I know that she has had a really hard time with all the stuff we have been through as a family and she has processed it all very well. God is doing things in her heart too through all of this. She knows that her soccer is a gift from Him and she is starting to focus on playing for him all the time. She too gets distracted by life and how it all fits together, but I can't say I blame her....she is 12. I have to remind myself how old both girls are because they are both mature beyond their years. Not only in life, but spiritual maturity. I am so blessed to see God at work in there life and see how they respond to His call to them. <br />
The boys are doing really well! They both have had their eyes checked now and believe it or not it is NOT because of drugs in their system when they were born. It is heredity! Yep a genetic thing that they will monitor and help in anyway they can. Sometimes they can have a patch and sometimes surgery or glasses. Ben did get put in glasses this week which he loves. It helps him see and focus. He is so proud to be like his dad with his glasses too. All he wanted was for his dad to like them. So very good to see too. Nathan will be watched for a while with Ben. I pray that this is something that they learn to cope with and it doesn't cause any learning problems. We also pray for their brother who is with their birth mom. The chances of him having this is great and hopefully he too will go to a specialist to determine if he does and gets the proper care. We pray for him regularly, daily, actually several times a day. God is good and holds him and grows him too! We pray that he will grow up knowing our Savior and know about his brothers who love him very much. <br />
I am filled with joy over the fact that now only is God using this journey He has us on, but He is growing all of us up in Him. I am so blessed! <br />
Praise be to God the author and perfecter of our faith!<br />
JodiAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-50467607619622222682011-01-23T19:36:00.000-05:002011-01-23T19:36:01.592-05:00New Day!Tomorrow will be Kasi's first day back to school, full time with normal classes. It is very exciting for all of us, believe me!! Not only does she need this, but all of us need her to go back too. We all love her dearly, but she is all of 14, and I know most of you can understand that. Plus, Kasi and I are so much alike that we might fight a little. We maintain a GREAT relationship, unlike a lot of teenagers and parents, which makes the bickering even harder. Her overall health is great too. We are amazed at the progress she has made and at the same time, we are not surprised because that is just what God does for her. <br />
We are also starting to process everything that has happened over the last couple of months. It is crazy, but truly it seems to be a blur at times. Emotionally I don't think I really processed a lot of it, that is until last night. <br />
We watched a movie called, "Letters to God" and I am sure a lot of you have seen this movie. I must say, that thoughts and feelings in that movie were overly real. Kasi our strong one who never cries in movies, was weeping and I was too. She felt all of the things that the actor was writing about in his letters and although he dies, Kasi is still with us. We are so blessed to be able to share more years with her and I celebrate that everyday. Not just with her but all of the kids God has in trusted to me. <br />
My heart began a "remembering" time last night, which I think is good, of remembering and feeling all of the "stuff" of being up at U of M for that many days. It is more than just a thought process it is a cleansing for me. Kasi too felt a little overwhelmed with emotion, but feeling everything she faced too was a great thing for us. We now look to the future of God incredible story that is to be told through us. It is humbling to know God is choosing me/us in this way. We will be obedient in all we do and our road and story doesn't begin or end with Kasi. It keeps going and going with each new day. <br />
We currently are facing testing for both boys for autism or even ways to better help them grow and learn. They will both be seeing an eye specialist on Tuesday for a most-likely genetic eye condition. Plus, they will be able to tell us if there is some neurological going on for further help. Nathan has started school at Ottawa Area Center in their infant program and he is doing awesome with that. Ben, is learning really well at school and his teacher is such a blessing!! I am not sure what the road is that we will be going on with these boys, but we know that God is with us all along the way. Our story, really God's story through us will continue. I will keep sharing because I feel like these posts, well they are our letter's to God.<br />
All of your prayers for our family are felt and appreciated. God is doing amazing things in our lives, each one of us and that is a blessing. Hearing Ben pray brings me to tears. His heart and compassion for others is overwhelming too. God is doing great things in his heart and that is something I continue to pray for. <br />
God is sooo faithful, good, and incredible! May His name be praised today and always! <br />
Now, for me.....on to speaking. Seriously???Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-22919017326703520202011-01-05T21:52:00.000-05:002011-01-05T21:52:00.094-05:00A new year...I can't believe it is Jan. 5 already. Tomorrow will be my first day back to work and Kasi is actually going to school for 1 hour tomorrow. Nathan had his first day of school today at Ottawa Area Center, which he did pretty good I guess, but it was super hard on me. Over all we are starting to get back into the swing of things.<br />
Over the past few weeks I have been reminded by several people that there are a lot of people that read this blog. Even more than what I realize! I have to tell you all a little something about this blog too. When I sit down to put something in here I always have something to say. I don't sit down and just write and sometimes that is why there are many days in between posts. Along with that, Kasi is home now and the day to day stuff is not very interesting. <br />
As I sit here today trying to put all of my thoughts into a short update I seem to be at a loss for words in how to describe my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I have reflected on the last two months and still I am working on remembering all of my feelings through the process, and at the same time I am brought back over and over to where this all began. "The Whole Story" post that I posted in October. There are so many parts even in that post that is missing to the true "whole story" that I don't even know how to begin to share. I want you to know though that I am being challenge to start to share. I really mean challenged too.<br />
Although I like to talk, public speaking is something that I never feel adequate to do. I am not sure if it is because I never want to be that boring person that everyone falls asleep too, no, I know that can't be it! I do know though that it is because I have so much to say, and so many thoughts about our God and how incredible, awesome, and great He is that time limits might be a problem and being able to articulate what needs to be said. So, now I am relying on the Holy Spirit not only for comfort, but for guidance as well. I have in the past, but this is a new road to go down. This is also a request from all of you faithful prayer warriors to pray for me, pray for Kasi because she too knows that she has been called, she just doesn't feel ready yet or that this is her time. For me, the time has come I guess :-) <br />
I have also heard over the past few weeks that the people that have been impacted by this blog is overwhelming. In fact I don't even know the extent of it all and I don't need to. What I do know is that this blog and stuff in it that impacts and changes lives is not because of my writing but because of God's working. He is the One who works in all things, through all things, and before all things. That is the awesomeness of our God. <br />
I was riding home from UofM this week and we were listening to a sermon from Grant Community Church, in which I have to say that if you go to that church you are blessed, and the minister's sermon was on from Calm to Caous to Calm. The reason we were listening to this was because he used some of my blog for a sermon illustration. I have to say, first to hear him say he prays for Kasi brought tears to my eyes because he is a stranger to me, and yet a brother in Christ. God's family. He then went on and quoted some of what I had written and that was a humbling, overwhelming, personal, amazing, and truly I don't have the right words to describe what I felt. I am TOTALLY ok with it, don't get me wrong, but to hear someone read my heart, that was a very different feeling. His message that God gave him could have been my heart right out there and it was great, I actually wanted to shout "amen" a few times, but of course in the car with Kasi watching a movie, well.....I said them to myself, remember God hears my heart. <br />
I am not sure where God will be taking this blog, Kasi or myself in the next year or more. I know that our journey in Faith is continual and we will continually be updating and growing. I also know that I will be doing a little chapel on Friday, and a women retreat in Feb. already. That is my onward journey, and Kasi's will be one of more healing and understanding of how incredible she is. She does not see how she is "different" in her thought process of things because she doesn't understand what it is like to not know God as she does. She doesn't get what it is like to having never felt God touch you or hear God or have the peace that passes all understanding. All she knows is that fear doesn't grip her. She was not fearful going into this surgery, and she was not fearful during her recovery. She was just Kasi, and she truly let God fight her fight to survive. That will be her story, when she can fully understand it herself. <br />
Please stay in prayer for our family, we have a lot still going on. Health wise, well Ron was in the ER overnight on Christmas for chest pain. His heart is fine, but he does have Barrett's disease which he will be seeing a specialist for. Nathan for his development as he is experiencing all new things now at school, and he will be 2 next week!!! Aubree, well, just to keep her safe and playing soccer to glorify God. She loves Him with all of her heart and she does play for Him. She will be playing her normal soccer stuff this year, plus she added a super "y" team for the summer. Ben is doing great! He too is falling more and more in love with Jesus everyday. I love talking to him about Jesus and listening to him, in fact tonight he was asking about how God and Jesus can be the same and different. I love moments like that! We are all good as you can see, we are living for Jesus in our everyday and praying for a place to call "home" where we can worship our Father together with His/our family. We will be faithful to His call on times he wants us to speak and we will continue to listen to Him as to what He wants us to say. Even on this blog! <br />
Be Blessed everyone in this new year!! We will be on here, hopefully weekly!! God's blessings to you, and may His love surround you all. <br />
JodiAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-3444657199600289632010-12-24T20:28:00.001-05:002010-12-24T20:32:24.520-05:00Merry Christmas!!Merry Christmas to all!! I don't know how to put all of my feelings into words this year. It seems that there is so much on my mind. I sit and watch our family being all together knowing how precious each life is. I am so blessed to be the mom of some awesome children. I hear Ben pray and it is a blows my mind where he came from and now where he is, and Nathan too. So many people tell us how lucky they are, but I never see it that way. We are the "lucky" ones. Even though I never say the word lucky, I feel it is just another one of God amazing works. He sure has filled my heart and I feel honored to be His child.<br />
This Christmas we are spending most of it at home. We can't have any sickness come into the house. Kasi is doing really well and I am super happy to be home. Kasi did have a doctor appointment in which we found out she has actually lost 2 lbs since she has been home. Her doctor really made it clear to her that she needs to eat even if that means taking her meds to eat. Another thing we have to do is keep the house warm so she doesn't waste calories keeping her body warm. So, we set the temp at 70 and that is where it stays. Believe it or not she still wears a sweat shirt and sometimes a hat because it is "cold". <br />
I have watched her go through so much in the last 2 months that this weight thing seems so little in comparison to everything else. I know it is very important too because it could put her back into the hospital. That is why she can't get sick either. Her body doesn't have the strength to fight it. We know our God is amazing and His hand in on her, so we are smart with our choices, and we know He will do the rest.<br />
So, all of my reflecting on my heart and what our family has been through, this is what I have been thinking about during this Christmas season. Something new to me that is for sure, but it makes sense to where we are. <br />
Christmas Eve and Mary and Joseph were searching for a place to stay. How long was Mary in labor? How far did she have to walk? How did she feel knowing the King of Kings was about to be born and there wasn't any place for Him. Now it would be hard just not being able to find a place being in labor, but to think that the baby you are carrying is "the baby". Of course she didn't fully understand what His work was going to be about, but she knew He was special and here they are lying Him in a manger. We always think about how awesome it is that Jesus was born in a manger because it shows His humble heart, but what were Joseph and Mary feeling and thinking? I know how I would feel as a mom, and a mom of a first born. We wouldn't settle for anything less than the best hospital. <br />
Then to watch Jesus grow. How great it must have been as a mom to watch Him learn and experience life, knowing all the while He was God's Son! Think about watching him at the age of 12 or how they must have felt when they couldn't find him. Oh My, loosing a child for a moment is one thing, but the responsibility they must have felt knowing how special He was to the world and they didn't know where he was. Overwhelmed I am sure! <br />
Then on to watch Jesus minister. I am sure it was kind of hard to watch some leaders of the church talk bad about your son. The talk that must have happened in "his home town" where he was not welcomed. As a mom, I might have been angry, hurt, or both. I just wonder how was it to be his sibling? To see so many following him, and to hear him speak with such wisdom. Making the Bible make sense in a different way. In a way that touches their hearts. <br />
All of this, for years being together, growing, learning, and watching. Over 30 years being a family, bound by flesh of this world. Mary did you know, that your baby boy, was the Saviour to the world. How did she feel seeing him suffer? How was it at the foot of the cross of her son, hearing all of the mocking and seeing what they were doing to him? How did she bare such pain............for me. For Me. For Ron For Kasi. For Aubree. For Ben. For Nathan. For Anthony (the boys brother who we pray will grow up knowing Jesus!) <br />
For You. How did his siblings feel? How was the family the day after? How was their grief? They didn't have the full gift of the Holy Spirit yet. They did not know he was going to rise again for the world! (well, they would have if they would have listened to all of his teaching, but it didn't make sense to them...yet) How incredible, the baby Mary and Joseph were struggling to find a place to lay down, was hanging on a cross in front of them. I am sure it didn't make sense because he had not been a "savior".....YET....He was! Baring our sin and shame, so we can have this incredible gift of being close to our Father once again. <br />
As I reflect on Christmas this year, I reflect on the whole story. I have seen our family suffer through some circumstances of living in a broken world. I have also seen God's work not only in our life, but through others all over the place. I am touched that God would choose us to be the faithful ones who could share God's good news that is for all people. A Saviour has been born!! And even more than that, He is living here with us. Jesus is going before us, along side us, and sometimes pushing us from behind. I have felt His peace and know His love even more today. <br />
Be Blessed this Christmas with the love of God that is greater than what we can conceive. Even if you are in the middle suffering or hard circumstances, there are people who have walked this path before us and God was with them and He will be with us. He will never leave us or forsake us. His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness. Thank you Jesus! <br />
May you all celebrate the Christmas Miracle, the whole story, the salvation of all who believe, being laid in a manger......<br />
<br />
Fragile fingers sent to heal us, tender brow prepared for thorns, tiny heart whose blood will save us.....<br />
Welcome to our world!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-38665229920454327262010-12-16T10:39:00.000-05:002010-12-16T10:39:40.890-05:00HOMEI never knew a bed could feel so good! What a great night of sleep with no beeping, doctors coming in at all times of the night and no being woke up when Kasi would have her vitals taken. Unlike when she was a baby and we came home, I was not nervous at all about her vitals all night. It was a great feeling! Kasi slept great too. I think all she needed to feel better was to come home. She has not taken any meds yet today which is great! <br />
As I sit here and think about the best part of being home, I really don't know what tugs at my heart more? The joy in the boys as we walked through the door, watching all of the kids being together last night, or just sitting watching them play, laugh, and be silly together. I have missed this so much. Even the craziness of it all. <br />
Today we will be putting the finishing touches on our Christmas tree and I am very excited about that. All of you who know me well know that I always put Christmas music on, and when it is all done, we all sing O Christmas Tree! Not the whole song, but just enough to all smile and laugh. <br />
<br />
<br />
Here is where we are at with Kasi. We know that the doctors did not repair her whole aorta like they really wanted to. The reason why is because of a few things. The main reason is because when they shut down the blood supply to the lower extremities they have a time frame to get things done. This time frame from start to finish is about 30 minutes, but with Kasi they shut her blood supply off for 60 minutes and they still were not into the lowest part of her aorta. They knew that they were out of time and when looking at her lower aorta they felt like it was a better decision to stop then to try and continue and fix the last part. This is because the aorta, by her renal vessels and below, looks to be elastic enough to grow with the proper blood pressure to it. So, with exercise it should start flowing better, but we will not know exactly what will happen so we will have many follow ups in the months and years to come. This is a normal for us though. Her kidneys are getting good blood flow to them, but we will need to start seeing a kidney Dr. again. Our previous kidney Dr. has moved on so this will be a harder transition. Not because the new Dr. in the office isn't good, but we had the best. We heard from the specialist at U of M that Dr. Cai is really good too, so we are happy with that. <br />
Kasi also will not be able to go back to school until Feb. 15 ish. I think that is worse case scenario. Looking at her you wouldn't think she would have to wait that long. We were told 6-8 weeks from yesterday, so the count down begins! She will then go to school 4 hours a day for about 2 weeks. It takes a long time for her body to get strength back and we do have a walking plan we need to start as soon as she feels good enough to go out and do it. I am thinking we will start today. Outside and about an 1/8th of a mile. This will take all her energy and she will most-likely need a nap after. <br />
As I start to look back over the last month and more I see all of God faithfulness to us. I look at the fundraiser that so many of you were involved in and the amount that was raised I was shocked at first. Now I see it as God knowing how much we really needed. I was thinking on the way home yesterday how I really didn't have that added stress to our stay up there. It was a blessing to be able to go to a hotel room and just be with Kasi for bit everyday. We felt like we "escaped" and it was a place for family to stay when they would come and visit. We didn't have to worry about how we were going to pay our bills with Ron being off and me being off too. It is such a God thing and when He says "don't worry about tomorrow" He means, I have it all taken care of. How precious we are to Him. I will end today with these couple of verses.<br />
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Psalm 34:19<br />
A righteous man my have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.....<br />
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James 5: 16<br />
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed, the prayer of a righteous man is POWERFUL and effective. <br />
<br />
The body of Christ has come together in a powerful way and I stand in awe of all of you who were called to pray for us through this whole thing. It wasn't a church group, school group, or one specific thing we are involved in. It was the whole body of Christ working together without denominational boundaries, just being God's hand and feet to us. That is who we are. As a family we have always been "different" in the fact that we choose to try and not be bound by titles and we are not going to say one church is better than another. We live to honor God and bless those around us with the blessings God has given us. Our cup is over flowing with blessing and that is because of all of you. Young and old, students and elderly. Thank you! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-87808070935249865952010-12-14T10:10:00.000-05:002010-12-14T10:10:10.364-05:00tomorrowWell, we were told today that it is a very good possibility that tomorrow we will be going home! You know, I feel like it is really time. I can't explain it, but it is like we are at the end of a good stay with extended family and you know when the end must come. When some of the nurses got the news they have already given her hugs today because they are not working the rest of the week. It will be interesting to see how today is and if/when we go home tomorrow how many tears will be shed. <br />
Kasi has been doing well. She still fights nausea and lower abdominal pain, but she is on meds to regulate this. We will be doing a follow up with our pediatrician for all of her "stuff" at home and hopefully have minimal trips back here. As for her surgery and the repair that has been done, she is doing great! She has really recovered here from that. We know though that she doesn't have much strength at all. As good as she feels, her body has gone through a ton and even a walk to the cafeteria yesterday made her muscles sore. It will be a while for her to gain that back. The doctor said it could take months for her to feel on top of it again. <br />
Over and over we have been remind of God's goodness. We focus on His goodness to us and showing others His strength in us through this. Today I am just sitting filled with joy with all the good things that are ours. We are very blessed and we know this. And today we celebrate this too. Kasi will have a Doppler study done on her legs today and we know God has used the wisdom of the doctors to correct her blood flow. We are excited to see the results! We know how well she feels and that in itself is a testimony to the greatness and success of this surgery. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. That is not a one time out flowing, but a continual flow! Let the river flow, right from the throne of God!<br />
Be blessed today, and hopefully my next update will happen at home! Pray for her to gain weight and have enough intake, that will be the key!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-10574783055517334632010-12-10T21:27:00.000-05:002010-12-10T21:27:10.846-05:00cookies!Hello to all on this great Friday evening! Kasi is doing amazing and it is really hard for me to not pack her up and say "good-bye" to this place and come home. There are things that must be done here yet and of course we will continue them through. She is going to have to eat high calorie foods with little fat. That is interesting, I think she is just going to eat lots of pasta! She loves it and well, it has a ton of calories which will be a great help to get to the 2000 calorie mark for the day!<br />
We also have a few more conversations to finish and a couple of nurses to say "good-bye" to. Some are not going to be working for a few days, and well, you never know we could be gone when they get back. Yes, that is becoming a possibility. <br />
And the last thing is we have to hand out one more tin of cookies. Yep, we handed them all out and we had the privilege to give testimony to who God is through this! It was an amazing thing for us to do for all of our doctors. I have to say "thank you" to all the Unity students that made the cookies. They are amazing!! And you helped plant a seed to many up here and put many smiles on faces of doctors who sometimes don't hear all the goodness of God. We made sure we told them all who the cookies came from and they were all really impressed! <br />
So, today we are very hopeful to go home on Monday. Kasi still thinks it will take longer, but I am really realistic to her going on Monday. It is a great journey that we have been on and will continue on from here. It will be even better to move this journey back home where we can grow together as a family again. I am convinced that our journey will continue in many areas of life. Our family is full of these stories of faith and we know the stories will continue because God never stops writing His story. He is with everyone who reads this too. I am wondering what would your page read? And would you allow everyone to read His story through you? It all goes back to something I have said along time ago, "do you have to say something? OR do you have something to say!" We have something to say, and we are saying it loud!<br />
So I end tonights post with this. Yesterday when waiting in line for the bathroom a mom came up to me and said, "I have notice you have been here as long as we have and I don't know how you do it. How do you stay so upbeat and strong. I am exhausted!" I talked to her for a little bit and realized she really just needed to talk. As I listened I heard bits and pieces of "church" and "pastor" but never really heard anything about prayer. I didn't say anything about that to her of course that is not where I am going with this. Then she told me it had been a long 3 days and she asked how long we had been here. I almost felt bad, but then I thought, no God can show her His strength even greater for her knowing how long we were here. So I did tell her. We then parted ways, and I believe there is one more conversation that will happen with her up here. God is so good, and yes we have something to say about that! <br />
Keep praying and praising! And just so you know, even through all of the struggles and frustrations, we have never lost our joy! True joy can never be stolen! And now we are living in that joy. Love to you all! <br />
For I know the plans I have for you declares THE LORD!!!! Plans to prosper you, NOT to harm you, but to give you HOPE and a FUTURE!!!! Yes, the Lord declares this about Kasi.....hang on to your hats, His real work has just begun!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-69417643527664020642010-12-09T17:10:00.000-05:002010-12-09T17:10:32.098-05:00Good news!So here it is, the good news. One of our doctors said the word "home" and Kasi has moved up to a low fat diet. What this means is they are thinking the pancreatitus has gone through it's course, and the lower abdominal pain is coming from extra bacteria that is in her bowels. We are hoping that the pain will go away after she is on an antibiotic for a bit. Home will come as soon as she takes in enough calories, with her belly tolerating it and her numbers trending down. We are at 108 right now and that is higher than we have been in a while, but not super high. We will see what happens when we add some fat into her diet. Pray it stays down and that she doesn't feel nausea after she eats. <br />
<br />
Lamentations 3: 22-26<br />
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, <br />
for his compassions never fail. <br />
23 They are new every morning;<br />
great is your faithfulness. <br />
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; <br />
therefore I will wait for him.” <br />
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, <br />
to the one who seeks him; <br />
26 it is good to wait quietly <br />
for the salvation of the LORD. <br />
<br />
We are in the waiting process but we have Hope in the One who holds it all in His hands!! Good things are happening. We had a great talk with her main doctor this morning who gave Kasi an encouraging word about her faith and her testimony to him. He shared how has learned once again to praise God even in the middle of struggles. We then gave him one of our gifts and he read her verse and said, "that is why you have done so well". He sees God's strength in her and is open to talk to us about that. We also told him how when we look at this it is only a moment in the whole big picture of things, and how this really impacts who we are in God, and how we grow into people who better reflect God's face. Praise Him for people seeing that through this!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-81535506441237173952010-12-07T21:28:00.001-05:002010-12-07T21:28:49.974-05:00Chris Tomlin Indescribable<iframe height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7PTvr755V8s?fs=1" frameborder="0" width="425"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-45166759766118330932010-12-07T21:28:00.000-05:002010-12-07T21:28:19.058-05:00numbers up....Hello to everyone. Today I started out with the verse "this is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it". What a perfect way to start today. Not that today was a good day, but a frustrating day. The verse had to stick in my head from beginning to end because of a few things. I feel like we are going in circles and not making progress up here. I am hoping to be proved wrong the next couple of days again, but with all of Kasi's pain yesterday after she ate and with her numbers going up to 106 today it just seems a little over whelming and confusing. And then on top of that we have a set of doctors saying she can only have no fat foods, and another group saying she can only have no fiber foods. We got a list of no-fat foods here and then the dietitian came up and sat down to show us what off that list Kasi could have. Well, we have 8 things she can eat. Corn flakes, rice crispys, mashed potato, baked potato no skin, grapes, strawberries (if they have them), sliced peaches, and lite and fit strawberry banana yogurt. At least she doesn't need too much time to make up her mind when it comes time to eat :-) Tonight she had mashed potatos. She was happy with that.<br />
Tomorrow will be a better day. I had to get over today, just my attitude and my broken heart of her numbers going up and the fact that I am missing the kids christmas program tonight. Yesterday was Ron's birthday, and Thursday is our anniversary. So many things that are being missed because of being up here in a holding process. I don't know if you can read my heart in this, but today is a day in which we had an over whelming feeling that we really want to go home. I know it will come, and I know that God will give us the strength to hold out strong. I am still in hopes for Monday, I am thinking that will be a miracle at this time, but I do believe in miracles so I am not budging. I also know that I will choose not to be disappointed if we don't go home. Kasi and I are resolved to just try and be home for Christmas. I am just hoping that the decorations will all be up when we get there. It is hard for Ron to get them up being a single parent right now though, so we shall see. <br />
Through all of this we are still amazed at our God and the great things He has done. The doors that have been opened the relationship built and seeds planted. And that is only us up here, we also know that people's lives are being impacted by the this blog. It seems so simple to me writing about our lives, but I know that God's work is being done and if others can see that through us we are happy about that. There is never any question about how big our God is and sometimes we just need a really good reminder and for us that comes in the form of a song. Sometimes it is through scripture, but today, this song. For all of you who have snow and for those who have never put our smallness into the big picture of God's world and God's work, this is for you. We are humbled to know that God, the creator of the universe, knows our name and is using us to further His kingdom. May His name be praised!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-51448928501625492682010-12-06T18:37:00.000-05:002010-12-06T18:37:16.388-05:0040 days??Ok, so I know there are a lot of things in the Bible that happens in forty days. And well, we just found out our hopes for going home this week are not really realistic. So, next week Monday will be the 40th day of us being here, so I am thinking out journey should be over. <br />
We have a new room mate today again. She is a strong 13 year old. Someone we can relate too. I am thinking she will be going home soon. She had a surgery today and she is out walking around waiting to eat. Once her belly does it's thing, she will be eating and going home. What a nice thing for her, plus we have someone else that can use our sign :-)<br />
Today Kasi had 3 carrots, 3 slices of cucumber, peas, and fresh fruit. All of which should be fat free, much to our surprise there is some fat in those. Well, she is now in pain in her belly, but we are thinking it is not from her pancreatitus, but more bowel pain. Although we are not totally sure, the Dr.'s ask her where her pain is when she has it and it is not in the place it would normally be for pancreatitus. All of this to say, her belly is starting to work after a long rest! She is going to try and have a baked potato here in a few minutes and hopefully that will settle everything and she will be okay. We will find out soon. We also were told that her magic going home number will be around 50 or less. We are at 94 today. She also has to do this diet thing one day at a time. When she is getting enough calories in she will then be able to get off her TPN. <br />
Her PICC line no longer wants to give blood which is a pain because that means they have to draw blood every morning with another poke. Not a big deal, but it is a use for her PICC line and it bums Kasi out that she has to get woke up now and poked. Just a frustration. We are thankful it does flush good though because if it didn't profuse we would have to do something about that. As it is, the PICC is fine, and that is a plus. I remember when she got the line in I was kind of questioning the whole thing because I thought, "why would they put this in if she will start eating in a couple of days". Little did I know at that time. She is going on 3 weeks with the PICC. Super glad she has it now.<br />
Our biggest request is going home. We want to go home, but we want to be faithful with the time we have up here. Help us not to get near sighted and not see what God would have us say and do while we are up here. Also help us prepare to go home!! Pray for God's hand to rest upon Kasi and heal her belly, taking all the pain away. Pray for Monday to be the day! That is next week you know, and if they say not this week, well let's go for Monday! <br />
Love to you all!! Thanks for all the cards and stuff. I know it is hard to think and pray for us all the time, just know we feel them all and love them all!! Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow....Blessings all mine with 10,000 beside. Great is His faithfulness! (thank you Debi)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224280523379557396.post-23297780436731837112010-12-05T21:14:00.000-05:002010-12-05T21:14:42.758-05:00day 32...I wonder sometimes if all of these posts sound alike. We have been here so long and this time is flying and dragging all at the same time. I can't believe that 32 days have gone by, but my heart sure does feel it. <br />
Today the family came up. It was so good to see them, and to see Ben and Nathan playing and just loving on them. I am so blessed to have all four of those kiddos. Aubree was her funny self too. It was busy, but my head just spins with them all being here which was extremely nice, until they leave. It is so hard to see them go. It is like a really sad movie and we are playing the roles. Kasi and I were on her bed, and Kasi just breaks down when they go. Of course I don't do much better. It has been too long! At the same time we know it has been just the right length of time because our time here is important to God and His work. It is not about us. We have some serious things to pray for us here and nurses to pray with. I am serious about that too. It is may sound funny to some, but we have had nurses open up to us and we actually have a date to pray with a nurse tomorrow at 10. We have not only a been patient of nurses, but we also have been visited by one too on her day off. Of course bringing goodies! We also had a room mate that we got to talk about God to, and see good things happen for her while we were here. There have been moments where I think we need to go home, and other moments that I think we need to finish what it is God has called us here for. I am not wishing Kasi to be sick and most of the time she is feeling good. Although she is still loosing weight and has her times of nausea, she is doing really well. If you know anything about pancreatitus, you would know that it is very painful. I am saying Kasi really hasn't struggled with pain at all. Tummy aches and nausea, but the pain that some describe is not something she has had. Either that, or she is once again is showing God's strength in her and His grace which is always sufficient. <br />
We have grown so much up here as people and together as mom and daughter. It is a sobering thought when I look at what has happened up here in our hearts and in the hearts of those around us. Everyone who works up here said they are going to have a parade when we leave and I KNOW there will be many tears on that day. We have new "family" up here and people that we now love too. I know some of their life stories and challenges. We have more people to pray for and with. And of course more prayer warriors for Kasi. <br />
Tomorrow we will see what her numbers do once again. She is at 90 and is starting to eat yogurt. This seems to be going okay. At the end of the day she gets "funny" feeling and needs something to keep it all down, but over all it is going well. We are praying for low numbers and real food. As soon as she can show she can eat three meals and drink enough, we will be on our way. This week looks promising! <br />
Thank you for all of your prayers! They are a blessing to us! Our God is awesome and we are looking forward to what He is doing next in our lives. We just pray that the next thing will be at home!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06554805501949447525noreply@blogger.com1