Sunday, January 23, 2011

New Day!

Tomorrow will be Kasi's first day back to school, full time with normal classes.  It is very exciting for all of us, believe me!!  Not only does she need this, but all of us need her to go back too.  We all love her dearly, but she is all of 14, and I know most of you can understand that.  Plus, Kasi and I are so much alike that we might fight a little.  We maintain a GREAT relationship, unlike a lot of teenagers and parents, which makes the bickering even harder.  Her overall health is great too.  We are amazed at the progress she has made and at the same time, we are not surprised because that is just what God does for her. 
We are also starting to process everything that has happened over the last couple of months.  It is crazy, but truly it seems to be a blur at times.  Emotionally I don't think I really processed a lot of it, that is until last night. 
We watched a movie called, "Letters to God" and I am sure a lot of you have seen this movie.  I must say, that thoughts and feelings in that movie were overly real.  Kasi our strong one who never cries in movies, was weeping and I was too.  She felt all of the things that the actor was writing about in his letters and although he dies, Kasi is still with us.  We are so blessed to be able to share more years with her and I celebrate that everyday.  Not just with her but all of the kids God has in trusted to me. 
My heart began a "remembering" time last night, which I think is good, of remembering and feeling all of the "stuff" of being up at U of M for that many days.  It is more than just a thought process it is a cleansing for me.  Kasi too felt a little overwhelmed with emotion, but feeling everything she faced too was a great thing for us.  We now look to the future of God incredible story that is to be told through us.  It is humbling to know God is choosing me/us in this way.  We will be obedient in all we do and our road and story doesn't begin or end with Kasi.  It keeps going and going with each new day. 
We currently are facing testing for both boys for autism or even ways to better help them grow and learn.  They will both be seeing an eye specialist on Tuesday for a most-likely genetic eye condition.  Plus, they will be able to tell us if there is some neurological going on for further help.  Nathan has started school at Ottawa Area Center in their infant program and he is doing awesome with that.  Ben, is learning really well at school and his teacher is such a blessing!!  I am not sure what the road is that we will be going on with these boys, but we know that God is with us all along the way.  Our story, really God's story through us will continue.  I will keep sharing because I feel like these posts, well they are our letter's to God.
All of your prayers for our family are felt and appreciated.  God is doing amazing things in our lives, each one of us and that is a blessing.  Hearing Ben pray brings me to tears.  His heart and compassion for others is overwhelming too.  God is doing great things in his heart and that is something I continue to pray for. 
God is sooo faithful, good, and incredible!  May His name be praised today and always! 
Now, for me.....on to speaking.  Seriously???

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A new year...

I can't believe it is Jan. 5 already.  Tomorrow will be my first day back to work and Kasi is actually going to school for 1 hour tomorrow.  Nathan had his first day of school today at Ottawa Area Center, which he did pretty good I guess, but it was super hard on me.  Over all we are starting to get back into the swing of things.
Over the past few weeks I have been reminded by several people that there are a lot of people that read this blog.  Even more than what I realize!  I have to tell you all a little something about this blog too.  When I sit down to put something in here I always have something to say.  I don't sit down and just write and sometimes that is why there are many days in between posts.  Along with that, Kasi is home now and the day to day stuff is not very interesting. 
As I sit here today trying to put all of my thoughts into a short update I seem to be at a loss for words in how to describe my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  I have reflected on the last two months and still I am working on remembering all of my feelings through the process, and at the same time I am brought back over and over to where this all began.  "The Whole Story" post that I posted in October.  There are so many parts even in that post that is missing to the true "whole story" that I don't even know how to begin to share.  I want you to know though that I am being challenge to start to share.  I really mean challenged too.
Although I like to talk, public speaking is something that I never feel adequate to do. I am not sure if it is because I never want to be that boring person that everyone falls asleep too, no, I know that can't be it!  I do know though that it is because I have so much to say, and so many thoughts about our God and how incredible, awesome, and great He is that time limits might be a problem and being able to articulate what needs to be said.  So, now I am relying on the Holy Spirit not only for comfort, but for guidance as well.  I have in the past, but this is a new road to go down.  This is also a request from all of you faithful prayer warriors to pray for me, pray for Kasi because she too knows that she has been called, she just doesn't feel ready yet or that this is her time.  For me, the time has come I guess :-)
I have also heard over the past few weeks that the people that have been impacted by this blog is overwhelming.  In fact I don't even know the extent of it all and I don't need to.  What I do know is that this blog and stuff in it that impacts and changes lives is not because of my writing but because of God's working.  He is the One who works in all things, through all things, and before all things.  That is the awesomeness of our God. 
I was riding home from UofM this week and we were listening to a sermon from Grant Community Church, in which I have to say that if you go to that church you are blessed, and the minister's sermon was on from Calm to Caous to Calm.   The reason we were listening to this was because he used some of my blog for a sermon illustration.  I have to say, first to hear him say he prays for Kasi brought tears to my eyes because he is a stranger to me, and yet a brother in Christ.  God's family.  He then went on and quoted some of what I had written and that was a humbling, overwhelming, personal, amazing, and truly I don't have the right words to describe what I felt.  I am TOTALLY ok with it, don't get me wrong, but to hear someone read my heart, that was a very different feeling.  His message that God gave him could have been my heart right out there and it was great, I actually wanted to shout "amen" a few times, but of course in the car with Kasi watching a movie, well.....I said them to myself, remember God hears my heart. 
I am not sure where God will be taking this blog, Kasi or myself in the next year or more.  I know that our journey in Faith is continual and we will continually be updating and growing.  I also know that I will be doing a little chapel on Friday, and a women retreat in Feb. already.  That is my onward journey, and Kasi's will be one of more healing and understanding of how incredible she is.  She does not see how she is "different" in her thought process of things because she doesn't understand what it is like to not know God as she does.  She doesn't get what it is like to having never felt God touch you or hear God or have the peace that passes all understanding.  All she knows is that fear doesn't grip her.  She was not fearful going into this surgery, and she was not fearful during her recovery.  She was just Kasi, and she truly let God fight her fight to survive.  That will be her story, when she can fully understand it herself. 
Please stay in prayer for our family, we have a lot still going on.  Health wise, well Ron was in the ER overnight on Christmas for chest pain.  His heart is fine, but he does have Barrett's disease which he will be seeing a specialist for.  Nathan for his development as he is experiencing all new things now at school, and he will be 2 next week!!!  Aubree, well, just to keep her safe and playing soccer to glorify God.  She loves Him with all of her heart and she does play for Him.  She will be playing her normal soccer stuff this year, plus she added a super "y" team for the summer.  Ben is doing great!  He too is falling more and more in love with Jesus everyday.  I love talking to him about Jesus and listening to him, in fact tonight he was asking about how God and Jesus can be the same and different.  I love moments like that!  We are all good as you can see, we are living for Jesus in our everyday and praying for a place to call "home" where we can worship our Father together with His/our family.  We will be faithful to His call on times he wants us to speak and we will continue to listen to Him as to what He wants us to say.  Even on this blog! 
Be Blessed everyone in this new year!!  We will be on here, hopefully weekly!!  God's blessings to you, and may His love surround you all.
Jodi