I thought I would update you on yesterday's appointment, but also let you into my heart and mind a little more. That can be a scary place let me tell you, so I will just give you the good stuff! Hopefully not the scatter brained stuff that seems to take up most of my mind.
Yesterday we drove up to UofM for the 6 year follow up from Kasi's last major surgery. It was the first time that Aubree had been up since the surgery which seems surreal for Kasi and I because it seems to be a second home for us. As boring as it can be, it is also filled with a little anxiety for me. We were told that Kasi would be seeing a new specialist for her belly issues. They are trying to figure out this pain which is so severe I can't even begin to tell you what it is like to watch her when she has one. This past time the after effects lasted for about 3 days. She still managed to live life and go to school during those days, but it was not a good time for her! Her aorta is still narrowed, we know this, her blood pressure still have a gradient, she still has a murmur they mention every time we go. We live in this place of expect the unexpected. I am not sure how Kasi, or Aubree, feel about it, but for me, there is always this knowledge of the unknown. How is that for a thought. Knowledge of the unknown. That is what our story is. Kasi's life journey started 20 years ago, and my life changed then as well. We have, and I have, journeyed with God through many many ups/downs and searching. Wrestling with the why, why nots, who, and whens of her care and her life. There are many things I have learned along the way, and too many to put into one blog post. The one thing though that I did learn, one thing I know, is Jesus. His love, His life, His power, His everything. I look at what was even 6 years ago, and a bit longer when looking at the where of her surgery. The severity of it. I remember being denied at top hospitals only to come back to UofM, Dr. Stanley, and now Dr. Eliason. (and yes Dr. Eliason was there at the beginning too) I look at how God has orchestrated everything when it comes to Kasi's care, all the journal entries into the top Thoracic Medical Journals, to now even text books. I wonder....how will they write the unexplained? How will they write about the unanswerable? You see, through these years, we have seen many of those. We have seen healings, pain free surgeries, unexplained ability to breath, filling of lungs, taking away of fears, drying up of tears, healing of hearts....both physically and emotionally, but most importantly, spiritually. God has woken some from slumber, He has softened some, and He has called some to new life in Him. The Holy Spirit has moved among us, and still is moving. We are a life changed, a family changed by the touch of Him who has created all things. And it is with Him we rest in what is to be. We don't know what Kasi's future holds, these next appointments, or when the next belly pain will come. We don't know what God has in store for any of us. BUT....we rest in what we DO know. We know, Jesus came from his heavenly home, to be born in a place where animals lived and ate, a smelly lowly place. He lived a simple life, relating to the simple, being all wise, and all knowing. He gave us an example of how to live, surrendered, humble, and loving. He taught us that true love, loves the Truth, and lives into it, and then shares it with others so they too can have the joy in knowing and loving Him. We know that without Christmas we wouldn't have Easter. We know that in whatever our tomorrow holds, we know who holds tomorrow. So, where ever you find yourself today in your walk with Jesus, think on these things at Christmas.
This is Jesus.....