Friday...day 10

So, last week Wednesday we were admitted, Thursday surgery, and here we are on Friday 10 days later.  It is hard for me to believe where we are at and what today has brought. 
After last night and the excitement of actually feeling like we were making progress and getting this tube out, well, we found out that it was not as good as we thought.  It was crazy, but because of Kasi's NG tube putting out so much "stuff" from her tummy they know that her stomach is NOT working yet.  Everything from last night was because of her antibiotics that she is on.  We were kind of sad about that this morning, but then when Kasi started throwing up, or should I say, dry heaving, it became overwhelming.  This NG tube is supposed to keep her from feeling sick, but she is still feeling sick.  It could be from her morphine, but she is on a low dose and it gets less and less everyday.  She started to walk and now it seems like it is harder to walk because I have to unplug her NG tube and as soon as I take it off suction it seems to cause her tummy to be upset.  We still suffer through it, but it is getting really hard for Kasi.  I am so proud of her!!  I look at her and she is completely pale, sunk in eyes, with water weight hanging around on her in weird places.  But she plugs away at each day forcing herself to get up, walk, sit up all while feeling like puking with a nasty tube down her nose and an IV pole full of pumps going into her. 
We found out that this could be her life for a week or weeks.  The reason why is because her bowels were manipulated so much in surgery and cut off from all blood flow for such a long time that they are stunned.  They might be this way for weeks.  We will have an angiogram on Tuesday and they will look at all of her vascular blood flow and her repair.  We are praying that her body heals and that we can endure with grace.  Kasi and I have had a talk today about what this might look like for us for a time.  She understood and knows that we can't change something we are in the middle of, and we have no way to do so, even if we wanted to.  So it is a matter of attitude of each day.  Excepting what is and having patience to plug away and heal.  We will continue to pray for healing of her belly and for gas to pass.  We will continue to rejoice that her feet are pink and warm.  We know that reflects her whole body getting the blood it needs now to survive.  We will pray against infection in every part of her body.  Tomorrow she gets a PICC line added.  This has risk, risk of infection and Kasi's veins and vessels are extremely hard to get into.  So, tonight we pray that her veins and vessels open up to what they need and keep out everything that would not be good.  She is loved by many, but loved so much by our Father.  I look at her right now and it is as if she is curled up in His arms resting.  He holds her, even if I can't.  Although she has burrowed into me as best she can a few times through out the day.  She tries to get as close as she can and I have spent many hours rubbing her back, legs, head, and hands.  I look at her in her quiet moments with tears running down my face.  I am so full of pride for her, and hurt for her as well.  I am proud of how strong she is, and I hurt for her because of all this that she has to go through.  I am the one who does the "it isn't fair", but she NEVER has. 
I think that sums up my requests, praises, and updates on this beautiful child of God.  I am privileged to be her mom, and honored to take care of her.  Pray for me to keep up my strength, like I have said before, we are God strong!  We know that everything will be okay.  It will, because no one or nothing can separate us from our Father's love.  And that.....is enough.
Love to all!