Where do I start

What a day!!  I don't even know where to start because I feel like I have lived a whole week in one day.  Kasi woke up this morning looking better than before because she lost some of the water weight that was around her face.  We thought this day was going to be an awesome day!  It started out smoothly, but then Kasi seemed to be a little less awake or "smart" this morning.  I wasn't sure what it was until the doctors started to collect outside her door and we had a "talk".  This was about the fluid that was building up around her lungs and making it hard for her to breath.  Plus they didn't want these fluids to start to collect inside her lung tissue.  She was told she would have to start and take deep breaths and the morphine knocks her out so that was hard to do because she was struggling to stay awake.  They cut back on her morphine so she would wake up more and at the same time she would have to start doing some deep breathing things to get the phlegm out of her chest.  Well, the result was awful for her.  She started to cough and it is so thick because she is not able to take anything by mouth.  It was extremely hard on her not to mention she couldn't breath 3 or more times and she just looked up at me with fear in her eyes mouthing "I can't breath".  For me that is a moment that I will never forget.  It was an awful, gut wrenching, hard thing to see and take.  As a mom I wanted to just get it out, but there was nothing I could do.  The pain she was going through was so much that her little body just wouldn't do it.  Kasi was really tried, her body just didn't listen.  She almost had tears running down her cheeks and she had an incredibly desperate face.  One I don't ever need to see again.  I was helpless.  The nurse stepped in and suctioned her out and that made her gag.  She would have her moments of peace in between, but they were not very peaceful.  She was scared.
The doctors came by again a little after noon and said they really wanted her to sit in a chair.  This would help the fluid around her lungs to drain or loosen up.  Kasi has a central line hanging from her neck, a chest tube in her side, an artline, foley, NG tube, and oxygen all connected to her.  This moving her thing was going to be a challenge and I was a little nervous about her pain.  Well, it did hurt.  It hurt alot!  The doctors explained to Kasi how good this would be for her, so Kasi was the one who said, "Okay" and started wanting to sit up.  She is amazing.  The pain it caused what unimaginable, but she endured.  She showed grace to all of her care givers, even when they couldn't get her central line that is connected to her neck to stay up.  It was hanging, kind of from her and causing discomfort.  She also wasn't able to get comfortable so the nurses asked what else they could do for her, she just said, "I am fine, I will deal with it".  What?  She is 14?  I have tears every other moment, some of awe of this little lady, and some of extreme pain in my heart because I can't take hers away.  And yet through all of this, we can see a little bit of Kasi through a joke or a smile. 
During this time, which was lasting most of the afternoon and early evening, we sent out prayer requests.  Well, here it the rest of the evening.
After Kasi sat for about 2 hours, yes, 2 hours!!!!  She went back down in bed.  She has some more coughing spells and couldn't get the "stuff" out yet.  The nurse gave her a little Tylenol and her very own suction.  Oh, and in the middle of everything above, Kasi got a fever.  Well, within about 1/2 hour to an hour she took a huge jump forward.  Seriously!  Her fever was gone, she sucked everything up, she could breath, her oxygen sats went up, her coughing was productive but minimal because she didn't really have anything to cough up and she actually watched a little TV.  She smiled and talked tonight and she gave the nurse a hard time.  She is still using her button for meds, but they turned them way down. 
My heart has been on this roller coaster ride today, from being a helpless mom watching my child suffer to a over joyed and thankful mom who wants to do a happy dance before God. 
I don't know if you all read my post from last night, but I posted something my friend sent to me about God being all over in this room.  I will tell you that I didn't need to see His visual presence because I saw the result of Him.  Like a wave of prayers going before the throne of our Father on Kasi's behalf.   My daughter, God's child.  It is so humbling to know that you all stormed up there with your pleas while I prayed silently over her while helping her breath, just holding her hand and kissing her forehead as the nurse suctioned her out all the way down her throat.  Watching her gag and look through those eyes at me as if to say "help" and I just turn to the only One who can and He did.  God has done amazing things for her.  I am excited to say!  Please pray for a good nights rest for her tonight.  It has been an extremely long day.  She needs rest to get better too. 
Praising our Father with all of you!!
Jodi
PS.....she still has a fight to fight, she is beginning to win this round!